When a friend loses a loved one, it is often difficult to know what to do. We compiled some helpful ideas. Showing concern for your friend and being there with a helping hand will mean the world to your friend.
Before the Funeral
- Offer to notify his/her family and friends about funeral arrangements.
- House-sit to prevent burglaries during the funeral and shivas.
- Help answering the phone and greeting visitors.
- Keep a record of everyone who calls, visits, or has been contacted.
- Help coordinate the food and drink supply.
- Offer to pick up friends and family at the airport and arrange accommodation.
- Offer to provide transportation for out-of-town visitors.
- Help him/her keep the house clean and the dishes washed.
After the Funeral
- Prepare or provide dinner on a day that is mutually acceptable every week for two to three months.
- Offer to help with yard chores such as watering or pruning.
- Feed and exercise any pets.
- Write notes offering encouragement and support.
- Offer to drive or accompany the bereaved to the cemetery regularly.
- Offer to house-sit so the bereaved can get away or visit family out of town.
- Make a weekly run to the grocery store, laundry, or cleaners.
- Help with the thank you notes and/or other correspondence.
- Anticipate difficult periods such as anniversaries, birthdays, holidays, and the day of death.
- Always mention the deceased by name and encourage reminiscing.
- Above all, just listening and your concern and presence will help.
Above all, just listening and your concern and presence will help.